I relate to so much of this, Sam. Thank you for sharing all of this. (I am enjoying the podcast you recommended The Alcohol 'Problem' - really interesting conversations.) I know what you mean about "crossing a line" in terms of how I think about my life as before I identified as an alcoholic, and after. I guess in some ways it "helped" (?) that I was more toward the severe end of the AUD spectrum. For me it makes it crystal clear which "side" I was on. Also, when I hear about non-abstinence recovery, I immediately think to myself "Hell, no. Not for me" Moderation feels like a miserable and exhausting proposition. Of course, as you said too, I have been through enough now to realize I might change my mind in the future. In some ways, being okay with that makes it easier to recognize where I am now. The future - or what I'll think then - isn't my concern today. Anyway, thank you. Hope you are doing well. :)
Just finishing Dry January. At most, I might have 7 in a week. I never drink socially, only to knock myself out at night. As an Autistic person, sleep disturbances are common, and there is a hamster wheel in my head that will run all night without chemical assistance. (Yes. I needed klonopin for Dry January. But, no. I didn’t miss the alcohol.)
I relate to so much of this, Sam. Thank you for sharing all of this. (I am enjoying the podcast you recommended The Alcohol 'Problem' - really interesting conversations.) I know what you mean about "crossing a line" in terms of how I think about my life as before I identified as an alcoholic, and after. I guess in some ways it "helped" (?) that I was more toward the severe end of the AUD spectrum. For me it makes it crystal clear which "side" I was on. Also, when I hear about non-abstinence recovery, I immediately think to myself "Hell, no. Not for me" Moderation feels like a miserable and exhausting proposition. Of course, as you said too, I have been through enough now to realize I might change my mind in the future. In some ways, being okay with that makes it easier to recognize where I am now. The future - or what I'll think then - isn't my concern today. Anyway, thank you. Hope you are doing well. :)
Just finishing Dry January. At most, I might have 7 in a week. I never drink socially, only to knock myself out at night. As an Autistic person, sleep disturbances are common, and there is a hamster wheel in my head that will run all night without chemical assistance. (Yes. I needed klonopin for Dry January. But, no. I didn’t miss the alcohol.)