I connect with so much of this! At my former job there were 2 people I felt a strong connection to, and thought we were friends, but after they both left (at the same time, to go to the same company) I barely saw them, and when I did see them at events I felt I had no place in their lives. One stopped responding to texts, even though nothing "bad" happened between us.
I've always referred to myself as a "fringe dweller" because ever since high school I've always felt that I existed on the fringes of so many groups and friend circles, never quite sure how to move closer in. Social media makes it more apparent, when I see people I know doing activities with other people I know and I wonder why I'm never asked to join. I figure it's because I'm too weird or awkward (and now too sober) and so I don't even think to ask any of those people if they want to do anything with me. I always think that as a 50-something adult I should have already figured out how friendship works, and so I resign myself to realizing this is a skill I'll never learn.
Thank you so much for this comment, liisa. I relate to what you are saying and I like the phrase "fringe dweller". That is exactly it - I've always been on the periphery of a group of friends but never felt I was really part of the group. I also know exactly what you mean when you describe that feeling you get when you see a friend group together without you on social media. My solution to that was essentially to get off of social media except for very limited uses. I miss seeing updates from folks, but I usually felt worse after scrolling for a while so I'm not missing it too much.
I connect with so much of this! At my former job there were 2 people I felt a strong connection to, and thought we were friends, but after they both left (at the same time, to go to the same company) I barely saw them, and when I did see them at events I felt I had no place in their lives. One stopped responding to texts, even though nothing "bad" happened between us.
I've always referred to myself as a "fringe dweller" because ever since high school I've always felt that I existed on the fringes of so many groups and friend circles, never quite sure how to move closer in. Social media makes it more apparent, when I see people I know doing activities with other people I know and I wonder why I'm never asked to join. I figure it's because I'm too weird or awkward (and now too sober) and so I don't even think to ask any of those people if they want to do anything with me. I always think that as a 50-something adult I should have already figured out how friendship works, and so I resign myself to realizing this is a skill I'll never learn.
Thank you so much for this comment, liisa. I relate to what you are saying and I like the phrase "fringe dweller". That is exactly it - I've always been on the periphery of a group of friends but never felt I was really part of the group. I also know exactly what you mean when you describe that feeling you get when you see a friend group together without you on social media. My solution to that was essentially to get off of social media except for very limited uses. I miss seeing updates from folks, but I usually felt worse after scrolling for a while so I'm not missing it too much.