Lots to think about here. I am weird about food, too and also struggle to manage eating in a healthy way. It's just starting to dawn on me that it could be connected to my autism diagnosis, partly through work like yours that considers this. I hate having to stop eating! It feels embarrassing to admit this. So thanks for taking that step for me 😊
I often eat salads so that I can just keep on eating for a longer time. And I too have the disappointment with the actual meal. And yet the incredibly short memory about that preceding the meal.
Lionel Shriver wrote about this in a novel I loved, called Big Brother. The protagonist's bro has a food addiction and is eating himself to death, while she tries to support and understand him. It felt like a powerful portrayal of addiction when I read it tho I had less awareness of addiction then and was far from getting sober myself. I related to her brother though. And to her. To the powerlessness. And the way that the out of control behaviour is a way of coping in the world. That it makes sense, in a way, and has a terrible kind of logic to it.
Yes, much to think about here. So my eating situation could be about sensory sensitivity. And about self-soothing. Because when I eat, as when I drink alcohol, I can stop time. And I can relax. My sweet brain gives me a break from all the thoughts about the past and the future and the meaning of life and how to live best and the injustices and the dying planet etc etc.
Sometimes I think of going to the 12 step food group. I've seen friends have life changing experiences there. But as usual, I feel my problem isn't 'bad enough'.
Wow, Chelsey thank you so much for sharing this. It feels really good to hear when others have similar experiences. This post was the hardest so far for me to write (and to click "send" on!). I've been digging in more to food/eating issues and I think it may have even more stigma than alcohol or other addictions. It's complicated. It's been interesting for me to acknowledge my food issues - hard than it was to acknowledge the alcohol, but that may be because I think my food issues have had bigger, more negative effects on my life than alcohol. Or perhaps because it's harder for people to understand or relate to.
There is a lot to explore with the sensory sensitivity and autism connection. I often can't tell when I'm hungry or full - sometimes I feel stuffed and bloated when really my stomach is empty. Other times I feel a pang of hunger when really I think my body is trying to tell me to stop eating. I think confusion around senses is related to autism (similarly, perhaps, to confusion around emotions). I also think overeating and undereating are very similar issues in terms of what drives them, they just have opposite manifestations. The same person could use both behaviors (I know I do).
Lots to think about here. I am weird about food, too and also struggle to manage eating in a healthy way. It's just starting to dawn on me that it could be connected to my autism diagnosis, partly through work like yours that considers this. I hate having to stop eating! It feels embarrassing to admit this. So thanks for taking that step for me 😊
I often eat salads so that I can just keep on eating for a longer time. And I too have the disappointment with the actual meal. And yet the incredibly short memory about that preceding the meal.
Lionel Shriver wrote about this in a novel I loved, called Big Brother. The protagonist's bro has a food addiction and is eating himself to death, while she tries to support and understand him. It felt like a powerful portrayal of addiction when I read it tho I had less awareness of addiction then and was far from getting sober myself. I related to her brother though. And to her. To the powerlessness. And the way that the out of control behaviour is a way of coping in the world. That it makes sense, in a way, and has a terrible kind of logic to it.
Yes, much to think about here. So my eating situation could be about sensory sensitivity. And about self-soothing. Because when I eat, as when I drink alcohol, I can stop time. And I can relax. My sweet brain gives me a break from all the thoughts about the past and the future and the meaning of life and how to live best and the injustices and the dying planet etc etc.
Sometimes I think of going to the 12 step food group. I've seen friends have life changing experiences there. But as usual, I feel my problem isn't 'bad enough'.
Anywho, thanks as ever!
Wow, Chelsey thank you so much for sharing this. It feels really good to hear when others have similar experiences. This post was the hardest so far for me to write (and to click "send" on!). I've been digging in more to food/eating issues and I think it may have even more stigma than alcohol or other addictions. It's complicated. It's been interesting for me to acknowledge my food issues - hard than it was to acknowledge the alcohol, but that may be because I think my food issues have had bigger, more negative effects on my life than alcohol. Or perhaps because it's harder for people to understand or relate to.
There is a lot to explore with the sensory sensitivity and autism connection. I often can't tell when I'm hungry or full - sometimes I feel stuffed and bloated when really my stomach is empty. Other times I feel a pang of hunger when really I think my body is trying to tell me to stop eating. I think confusion around senses is related to autism (similarly, perhaps, to confusion around emotions). I also think overeating and undereating are very similar issues in terms of what drives them, they just have opposite manifestations. The same person could use both behaviors (I know I do).
Thank you as always for the conversation!