This is incredibly inspiring to read. I had similar ideas about prom. It made no sense to me and I thought everyone was an idiot for seeing it as meaningful. It was only after getting sober that I saw it as sad that I didn't understand how it could be a meaningful milestone!
I'd like to write a version of my own experience as I recall going to my prom in dirty sweaty clothes on some kind of drugs-related come down while my peers had really made an effort to wear fancy clothes.
Actually, I don't remember what anyone wore. I was too focused on myself. I remember feeling like my peers saw me as a kind of grotty drug addict whereas I actually believed myself to be a lot more mature and enlightened than them. On reflection I am not sure which of us was correct! But I was certainly missing the 'point' of prom. And only half believing my conviction that it was stupid now I was amongst the prom believers.
Also interesting about the I'm fine thing. It makes me feel superior in my autisticness as the convention is so unbelievably stupid. What a waste of everyone's time!
I remember experimenting with answering honestly in my 20s. "I'm actually more depressed than I've ever been in my life" makes people really uncomfortable, it turns out.
Also I remember doing away with certain questions which seemed inauthentic or grasping, ie "and what do you do?" Honestly, I still feel gross about asking that question. Like, "let me measure your worth to society". But I never know what to ask instead.
Thanks again for these thoughts. Whenever I read your posts it makes me want to write my own. It helps me remember why I write on this topic.
Thank you again, Chelsey! It's funny that you say reading my posts makes you want to write your own, because reading your posts was a big reason I started this newsletter! When I read your writing it often inspires me to explore a similar topic. So, thank you! It sounds like we had similar emotional experiences and also tried similar experiments socially (like answering the "how are you?" question honestly - that was fun). I hear you on "what do you do?" I hate that question- I hate being asked it and I hate asking it. And yet I DO ask it, because I don't know what else to ask, or because it feels like the appropriate question, or because the other person asked me first...
This is incredibly inspiring to read. I had similar ideas about prom. It made no sense to me and I thought everyone was an idiot for seeing it as meaningful. It was only after getting sober that I saw it as sad that I didn't understand how it could be a meaningful milestone!
I'd like to write a version of my own experience as I recall going to my prom in dirty sweaty clothes on some kind of drugs-related come down while my peers had really made an effort to wear fancy clothes.
Actually, I don't remember what anyone wore. I was too focused on myself. I remember feeling like my peers saw me as a kind of grotty drug addict whereas I actually believed myself to be a lot more mature and enlightened than them. On reflection I am not sure which of us was correct! But I was certainly missing the 'point' of prom. And only half believing my conviction that it was stupid now I was amongst the prom believers.
Also interesting about the I'm fine thing. It makes me feel superior in my autisticness as the convention is so unbelievably stupid. What a waste of everyone's time!
I remember experimenting with answering honestly in my 20s. "I'm actually more depressed than I've ever been in my life" makes people really uncomfortable, it turns out.
Also I remember doing away with certain questions which seemed inauthentic or grasping, ie "and what do you do?" Honestly, I still feel gross about asking that question. Like, "let me measure your worth to society". But I never know what to ask instead.
Thanks again for these thoughts. Whenever I read your posts it makes me want to write my own. It helps me remember why I write on this topic.
Thanks!
Thank you again, Chelsey! It's funny that you say reading my posts makes you want to write your own, because reading your posts was a big reason I started this newsletter! When I read your writing it often inspires me to explore a similar topic. So, thank you! It sounds like we had similar emotional experiences and also tried similar experiments socially (like answering the "how are you?" question honestly - that was fun). I hear you on "what do you do?" I hate that question- I hate being asked it and I hate asking it. And yet I DO ask it, because I don't know what else to ask, or because it feels like the appropriate question, or because the other person asked me first...